you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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