Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
