dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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