Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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