Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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