she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
