i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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