we're blogging at a bar
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
