he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
