How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
