hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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