If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize