Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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