HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again