im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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