I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
