VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
