This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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