So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
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