all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
