I'm going to jail i love you
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
