I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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