I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize