How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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