Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
