craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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