I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
