It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
