Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
