guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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