She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
