therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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