Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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