My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
