Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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