he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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