I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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