Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
