Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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