my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
