And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
we should paint friendship bongs
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
