Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
