nutella sex= disaster
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
