Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
