I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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