Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
