I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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