lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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