69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He has the fingertips of a God
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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