she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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