guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
