ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
