i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
