Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
