There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize