WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
