wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
