Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.

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(970): View more from Colorado

The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!

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These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Read it at the TFLN blog
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.

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(330): View more from Ohio

My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.

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(714): View more from California

You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying

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(713): View more from Texas

Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are

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