By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm