There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
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i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
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Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier