how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.