you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
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this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
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Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.