It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
