eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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