She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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