I heard we made out
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
