whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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