i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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