sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
